Faces pass, and I'm homebound.

Well, well, well (three holes in the ground).  Turns out I'm not a very good blogger when I'm not sitting in class not paying attention to lecture.  I'm gonna have to work on this.

The closer and closer graduation gets to me, the more I want to not walk.  I'm going to, of course, because my mom and TC would both have words for me if I didn't, but I'm, just typically lazy and don't want to.  I just want to go to Disney World, to be honest with you.

The weekend after we get back from Miami, I'm going wedding dress shopping for the first time.  I hate trying things on.  You know what would be perfect?  If I found the dress on my very first shopping trip.  Heck, the very first dress I put on.  That happens, right?

I happen to be feeling exceptionally lazy lately.

I hope you're the last words I ever utter.

I both love and loathe today.

Why do I love it?
Well, I booked my wedding today!  The date will be Saturday, February 8, 2014.  The ceremony and reception will both be held at the same place, a small plantation not far from TC's parents' house and where we went to high school.  It's going to be lovely.  I also love today because I got my fingernails and toenails all polished up real pretty for some friends' wedding this weekend.  I went with TC's best friend's fiancee.  We joke that those boys always have to do everything together, including, apparently, get married.  (Side:  As much as I love getting complimented on my ring, I suppose I'll forever have to answer the question, "Is that a YELLOW diamond?"  Oh well.  First world problems.)  Also, TC comes home tomorrow, and I get him for an extra couple of days this time around.

Who do I loathe it?
I need to clean the house, and I know I won't have time unless I practically kill myself tonight.  I still have to write my Louisiana history essay, our final exam in the class.  And I'm pretty sure I'll have a to read a lot before doing so.  I just cannot bring myself to do it.  I sat in traffic on Essen Lane today.  It made me want to take my car off-road and/or smash it into every other car on the road (oh, except you actually have to be GOING at some speed to do that).

(I feel super annoying when I blog nowadays.  Maybe once school is over I'll have more interesting things to talk about.)

Goin' to the chapel, and we're gonna get ma-a-a-ried!

I'm engaged, you guys!  I'm going to be Mrs. The Captain!

He did a phenomenal job on my ring.  The only tips I ever gave him were that I really love yellow diamonds and that pear shape is my favorite.

He had asked me a month or so ago about rings, but the way he asked made it seem like it was just a passing thought.  I thought maybe it could happen some time this year, but I've gotten into the habit of not getting my hopes up about anything, so he completely caught me off guard.

He was really sneaky about it.  I was out running errands on my lunch break yesterday, and he decided we should go get lunch and use one of our coupons that have been piling up.  So we went to Bay Leaf, one of our new favorite places.  After lunch, he told me I should follow him to his parents' house so that we could put his grandfather's old ironing board, which is to be ours now, into my car.  I suggested we just switch vehicles, but he insisted he needed to put some wood in the back of his truck so we both needed to go.  So off we went.  When we got there, he told me to go to the front door because that's the only door his key works on.  Once he met me up there, he got his keys out to unlock the door, and conveniently dropped them on the ground.  Just as I was turning to him to make a smarty pants comment about him being clumsy, he's kneeling there with a ring asking me to marry him.  I think I just stared at him confused for about 30 seconds.  That is truly a moment I will never forget for as long as I live.  The way his voice sounded, the nervous/excited look on his face, everything.  It wasn't anything elaborate, but it was just so perfect.

He tells me he was planning to wait until my graduation.  He had just picked up the ring yesterday morning, and obviously it was burning a hole in his pocket.

I'm just thrilled.  Also, I'm completely terrified and stressed out, and I feel so rushed.  Uuuuggggghhhhhh.

Worry, why should I care?

Methinks it's about to storm.  I'm really hoping it waits until about 3:05, at which time I will have made it to my car and headed home.  Because I totally forgot to bring an umbrella/rain jacket/rain boots today.  And I have a laptop and a cell phone that would probably prefer not to be soaking wet.

I'm so close to being done with this college foolishness, I can taste it.  I can also taste Disney World.  It tastes like turkey legs and sweet cream pretzel bites and Mickey Mouse ice cream bars.  And it's pretty much all already paid for.  And the whole month of May seems so surreal.

Yesterday The Captain and I did a whole lotta yard work.  We replaced yucky lava rock with nice, smooth river rock in the rock bed off of our back patio.  I'm happy it's done, but y'all, shoveling rocks is exhausting.  Especially when you pair it with also shoveling tons of garden soil and cutting the entire yard.  I was a bad girl, and I didn't wear sunscreen.  I'm paying for it today, believe you me.  (Why do people say that?  It's odd.)  Our shed expansion is coming along nicely, as well.  I MAY be able to do some demo when I get home from class today.

We're having my mom and her boyfriend over for dinner tonight.  Should be interesting.  He and TC are super similar in a lot of ways.  He talks a lot.  TC loves talking.  Seriously, the dude could stay up until sunrise just talking with his buddies outside on the swing.  He does on a regular basis.

OH!  This past weekend, we went to TC's cousin's fishing camp to make deer sausage.  I didn't think it would be so much fun to grind raw meat.  I had a blast!  There may be a meat grinder in my near future.  (Sorry, bank account.)  We also picked POUNDS of blackberries.  Beautiful, juicy blackberries.  Needless to say, I'll be making fruit cobbler for the first time tonight.  And probably again tomorrow.

WOW!  Teacher just came in and said we can go home!  Yes!

He's been gone for such a long time.

The Captain comes home in two days, and I can't even stand it.

I'm not even stressed out about it like I usually am when he comes home from the river.

He just forwarded me the dinner reservation he made for us for Friday night.  He's finally taking me to a place downtown that I've been wanting to try for a while now.  It's my reward for holding down the fort without him for three weeks.

Caught up in sorrow, lost in a song.

Emotional day today.  I miss TC a whole bunch.  I'm very fortunate to be able to talk to him virtually whenever I want (given he isn't napping), but I really needed to come home today and lay in silence with him until I fell asleep.  But that's just not possible today.

A good friend from high school (and beyond)'s little sister died yesterday.  I don't know exactly how, but I think it's getting to me more than I thought it would.

I've also had a lot to think about the past couple of days.  I guess I'm asking for prayer.  I need God's wisdom and guidance.  Badly.

Please come to Boston.

Today was the Boston Marathon.  It was bombed.  At the finish line.  How in the world could someone have a desire to say, I know!  These people just ran 26 miles, a feat not many even healthy people can accomplish, but it'd be a great idea to kill some of them and injure a lot of them.  I just don't get it.   Terrorism or not, why, why?!

The Captain and I were there last year.  We actually flew out of Boston the day of the marathon, a few hours after it was over.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be there as a out-of-towner just on a vacation when this happened.

As a result, I will not be on Facebook or Twitter this week.  In just a few short hours, the disturbing photos and insensitive conspiracy theories began making their way to my news feed.  I'm friends with a lot of stupid people on Facebook.  A lot of them.  I can't handle STUPID people taking really serious, tragic happenings and turning them into that.  It's like these folks will re-post ANYTHING they see.  Whatever happened to credibility?  Do people not realize how easy it is to just make something up that's completey ludicrous and put it on the internet?

In completely unrelated news, I have my last pre-finals test tomorrow.  And I'm so over it.  I haven't even studied until today, and I don't even want to study now.  But I have to.  It's an essay test.  And it's basically impossible to pay close attention in this class.  And the only way to study is just read the material.  No PowerPoint, no outline, nothing.  Lord, help my brain soak this stuff up.  

Take me far away from here.

Maggots.

If that word creeps you out, read no further.

We have two outside garbage cans at our lovely home. One of which has no lid. Now you'd THINK that one would not put garbage bags containing foodstuffs into said lidless can. Apparently this is not always the case. Because this fine, chilly morning, I go to place some scraps into the lidded can only to find a mountain of maggots inside the lidless can atop one scrawny bag.

I had a TERRIBLE day at work today, but I knew I had to do something about this situation when I got home. I got myself a bottle of bleach and poured a good amount into the can. Then I took the hosepipe and sprayed...and sprayed...and dumped...and sprayed...and dumped...and sprayed...for probably a half hour. I can basically guarantee that there were THOUSANDS of maggots in there. And now they're all in the grass. And I'm sure that's not the last of them I'll see.

I need some ice cream.

Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours.

The Captain (yes, Steph, he's okay with being Uncle Captain--someday) would have come home today had he not taken a week of overtime.  So that means one of three weeks without him is done.  And it's not as hard as I'd expected.  Perhaps it's the fact that I've been so busy with school work, or maybe it's because I've been mentally preparing for it for a couple of months now.  You'd be surprised how much I can put up with when I mentally prepare for it.  Plus, I haven't had time to clean the house, and I'd hate him to come home to be disappointed with its disarray.

From May 18th to June 18th, I'm going to three separate destinations.  Disney trip with the ladies has also become a jumping-off point to long weekend in Miami.  I'll let the girls take my car home that Friday, and I'll rent a car, drive to the airport in Ft. Lauderdale to meet up with TC, and then get picked up by his uncles to spend Memorial Day weekend at their condo in South Beach.  Then just a couple of short weeks later, I'll take a long weekend with my mom in NYC to see her beloved Tom Hanks in Lucky Guy (I think that's what it's called).  So I've got a pretty packed summer ALREADY.

In other news, my best friend from high school (who is still one of my best friends) is having a baby!  Like, today.  Like, RIGHT NOW.  I'm hoping to be able to meet him Saturday morning, providing Lauren is okay with a pit-stop in Mandeville on the way to New Orleans.  I can't wait!  As adorable as both she and her brother were as babies, I can only imagine how cute he'll be.  I'm just so sad I can't be there with her through the labor.

I will carry you there.

I got to go see The Captain yesterday (for less than a minute).  He came down with a cold on the boat and needed some meds (and an extra cookbook to read).  Driving to his fleet always gives me a panic attack.  All the loopy, narrow, high ramps I have to drive on is not nice to my nerves.  But it was worth the drive.  I got to give him a bag of stuff and one quick kiss.  Worth it.  Now for the next two weeks and two days... His buddy told him that the weekend after he comes home they could go fishing.  He seemed really into it.  He told me yesterday, though, that he told him he just wanted to stay home that weekend.  :))) Which is fine by me.  By that time we will have not had a weekend together in a couple of months.  I'm looking forward to it.  (Also, we'll see if THAT sticks.  Not many men turn down fishing trips.)

So my biggest assignment of the semester, my English research paper, is done.  I'm also almost done with my History translation project.  I still have an Excel project to do this week and another research paper due in a few weeks, along with reading and studying for tests.  But, funnily enough, I feel like I'm already done.  I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I have too many things to do on Saturday.  I wish that were not the case.  I'd really love to clean my house.

It's good.

I JUST FINISHED MY ENGLISH RESEARCH PAPER!!!

They're trying to wash us away.

I'm taking this impossibly boring Louisiana History class, right?  Well, one book we're reading is called The Accidental City, and it is actually NOT impossibly boring.  Last night during my reading, I found this quote about New Orleans and what made it go BOOM.

"During the city's lush decades, just about everything the Mississippi Valley sent to eastern markets had to pass through New Orleans, as did all the buttons and textiles, shoes and wine, that mid-America received in exchange.  It was as though the city were the drain plug in an immense bathtub."

I love this state, and I'm excited to learn more about it from this book.  I already have two people who want to borrow and read it when I'm done.

Who knew that love was so cruel?

Yeeeeeeeeeps.  Sorry for not blogging for almost a solid week.  I guess I didn't expect to soak up as much time with TC as I possibly could.  He left today for his three-week work venture.  Of course, it's just that he's working a week of overtime, so it's not really that big of a deal.  He hasn't done this since we first became official last year.  He was gone for Christmas AND New Years that time.  But, you see, now it's much harder.  Our lives are exponentially more intertwined these days.  And we are exponentially more blissfully in love.  And we never fight or argue or get annoyed with one another.  (Just kidding.)

The day before Easter the first of the baby boys that all my friends seemed to be pregnant with right now were born.  Sweet twins named Clint and Douglas born to one of my greatest friends.  I went to visit them at a hospital I've never been to on Easter Sunday before I went to my mom's house for lunch.  I held them both at one time, which is something I had never done before.  (I mean the holding two infants at once thing.)  Clint was not fond of having the light on and kept trying to tuck his little head into his swaddled blanket, whereas Douglas was just passed out regardless of light.  And they looked quite different, even for infants.  Douglas looked much more like his big sister.  I think I should try to visit them this weekend again.

That is, if my life isn't sucked into a black hole of assignments.  I have semester projects due in three of my classes next week.  Aaaaaaaand I have hardly begun any of them.  Aside from Buffy night Friday and babysitting Saturday evening, I will be a shut-in this weekend.  But if I can just get through this week, the rest of the semester should be relatively smooth sailing.  Right up until graduation.  And Disney World.  Ahhhhh, 43 days.

Yours is the first face that I saw.

Ugh, I just finished reading Matched by Ally Condie again.  I really do NOT care for this book.  But, once again, it made me want to read the two sequals.  Maybe I'll get to that this summer.  I know you're probably wondering, Ashleigh, why did you read it again if you didn't like it the first time?  That's an excellent question, class.  It was assigned for my English class.  Ashleigh, if you've read it already and you didn't feel like reading again, why did you?  Seems like you'd probably remember enough to get by in English class.  That's also an excellent point.  Unfortunately for me, tomorrow I have to lead the class in discussion of this book.  It's the one day that I'll have this assignment.  I did not choose to do it on this book.  And, having read it approximately two-plus years ago, I didn't feel like I remembered enough details to come up with several open-ended discussion questions about it.  Happily, this will be the first big class assignment to get the big-class-assignments-before-the-end-of-the-semester ball rolling.  Next up, I'll be writing a research paper about The Hunger Games.  Yippee!

When I graduate...

I got my graduation invitations in the mail today.  They're super confusing, though.  But it's becoming real life.  Now I gust have three papers, a project, and finals pretty much, and I'm good.

52 days.

Send your heartbeat; I'll go to that blue ocean floor.

Today I went to the gym AND bathed the dogs, so I pretty much have just a bunch of mush in my head and I'm tirrreeedzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................

She leads me through moonlight only to burn me with the sun.

Today it was all windy.  I could hear it coming from my fireplace.  "She's Like the Wind" got stuck in my head.  Then I was sad, because I miss Swayze.

Anywho, I've been thinking about New York so much lately.  It's been two Novembers since I've been, and I'm needing it pretty badly right about now.  I want to eat onion bagels for breakfast and pizza for dinner.  I want to go to Barney Greengrass, and I want to walk the streets by myself.  I want to see a Broadway show, then have breakfast for dinner at the Stardust.  I want to try a million different coffee shops.  I want to go to the Met for a few hours.  I want to go back to the wax museum.  I really want The Captain to come along so I can experience the city with him for the first time.  He went when he was a kid and didn't like it, but I think going as an adult can change his mind.  Especially going with me.  We could exercise in Central Park.  And then we could use all the calories we burned on the delicacies that only New York City has to offer.

I'm dying for you, New York.

So this is what you meant when you said that you were spent.

Arisa's blog post inspired me.  The part where she talks about the river with the big tires reminded me so much of that one time I went white water rafting in Lake Tahoe.  I realized that you folks back home may have never heard this story, so I'll regale you.  (No idea if I used the word "regale" correctly at all.)

Last September I went to Lake Tahoe with The Captain, his family, and his dad's family.  The purpose of the trip was to spread his grandmother's ashes in her favorite part of the lake, Emerald Bay, which we did (*cough*illegally*cough*).  Of course, we had a few other things on the list while we were there.  One of those things was white water rafting, which I had never done before.  TC and his family had.

We were with a large group, so the group was split into three rafts with three separate instructors.  In one boat was myself, TC, TC's cousin, TC's sister's friend, and our instructor.  In another raft was the rest of his family, and in the third raft was the rest of the group.  I'm not much for extreme sports, but I like to say that I'll try anything, so I was really scared but also very excited.  Truth be told, we had a lot of fun--most of the time.  Our leader was a really nice, young, hippie guy, but I'm not sure he was quite as experienced as the others.  This is where I could kick myself for being a part of the "young" group.

It's been a while, so I can't remember now if I went under twice or thrice.  I feel like there was one time where I fell in by myself, but I can't be sure.  The perhaps second time, it was TC and myself, as we were both on the same side of the raft.  This wasn't so bad.  The water was cold, but by that time we'd had a long ride in the sun, and it felt nice to be wet.  We did everything they told us to do if we fell in, and we were rescued almost immediately.  The perhaps third time was not so calm.  It was toward the end, and there were lots of rocks and rapids.  This time our entire raft flipped, and there was no hope for any of us.

[Side note:  I had splurged ($80) on a nice, new pair of sunglasses at the golf shop the day prior, something I just never do.  Spoiler alert:  They didn't make it.]

Let me just tell you, that was the scariest moment of my life.  Up to this point, I was sure that no matter where I fell into the water, I would survive.  But in this moment, I was sure that I was going to smash my head into a rock or get my foot stuck on something and drown.  It was close to impossible to put our feet in the air as we were instructed to do.  There was a moment when my body was just being dragged across rocks (smooth ones, thankfully).  When we were finally rescued by another raft, I was having a full-on panic attack.  Once I realized everyone was accounted for, I calmed down, and thankfully, the trip was almost over.  From that point forward, though, I was sure every rock I saw was going to plunge me into the river again.

All in all, I had fun.  I faced a fear, and I survived.  Would I do it again?  Absolutely.  But probably not any river with a higher difficulty than what we did that day.

Aren't you something to admire?

Okay, I've made the decision.  It's time to cut the junk out again.  I don't know why I keep letting myself slip into this place of comfort and calorie splurging, but I always do this.  And it's making me physically UNcomfortable.  I want to fit into my clothes and have to buy new clothes because the ones I have are too big.  I want to be strong and have energy again.  It is SO hard to be un-tired.  But I know what it feels like, and I miss it.  And I really need to learn that I can do it on my own (and maybe with a little help from my friends) and not have to spend a thousand dollars on a program to tell me what to do every step of the way.  I need to be able to do this and to make it my life.

Guys, I just need prayer and motivation and accountability.

I'm making myself a note for my mirror that says, "The decision is made.  You WILL do this."

You could be my strawberry bubblegum, and I could be your blueberry lollipop.

Whooooooooops.  Forgot to blog yesterday.

Wednesdays are the worst.  Either I have to work all day then go home to clean the house before The Captain comes home the next day or I have to work all day then be sad because TC is leaving the next day.  There's not really a win.

Thursdays are nice.  Either TC comes home, and I'm happy, or TC leaves after being here a whole week, and I can look forward to getting things done around here.  Of course, this time around I only got him for two days, if you can even call it that.  But I tell ya, it gets harder and harder to let him go.  The past couple of weeks with him home were super productive.  Maybe it's because Spring is in the air.  Maybe it's Maybelline.

I probably talk about him too much on here.  I promise he's not all I think about.  It's just nicer thinking about him than school....or work....or otherwise.

Goodness, May is going to be a good month.  So good, that I'm convinced it will never arrive.  Come ooooonnnnn, May!