You've got a face to call home.

I may have said this before, but I'm not so good at updating this blog when I'm not in school.  BUT seeing as I'm done with school for good now, I have to make myself take some time during my lunch break sometimes to do it.  I just have to.

Mom and I are going to New York for the weekend, and I'm just so very excited.  I haven't been since two Novembers ago, and that's just far too long.  There was a second of time when TC and I were discussing taking a short honeymoon there right after the wedding, but we've since changed that plan to New Orleans to save a little more money for the big France trip next fall.  I'm going to get my fill of pastrami and bagels and Broadway and pizza and Barney Greengrass and the best cookies on Earth while I can.  Oh, and shopping.  As I've already found and purchased my wedding gown, we're going to look for a gown for Mom.  And of course there'll be H&M.  There's ALWAYS H&M.

Man, this wedding stuff is tiring.  It's super fun, but it's a little strange feeling like I get to make the decisions and that it's about me.  I've never been huge on party planning, but it's fun.  Honestly, I've gotten past the initial excitement about MY WEDDING and gotten back to the point of it being a day celebrating TC's and my decision to share our lives together.  I truly can't wait to be his wife.

Work has actually felt like work lately.  Now that I'm finished extending my adolescence and graduated from college, I have to work every day like a grown-up.  I don't hate it, but I'm just reminded of how much easier it is to work when patients aren't here.  I get so much more done on Tuesdays and Thursdays, AND I can be more relaxed.  Especially since right now we have a few patients who are just mentally exhausting.  And since my "office" is in the lobby, they think I'm here to talk about senseless things while they wait an hour for their transportation to come get them.  I don't dislike patients.  I just dislike some people.  But I'm never rude to them.  I know better than that.

Faces pass, and I'm homebound.

Well, well, well (three holes in the ground).  Turns out I'm not a very good blogger when I'm not sitting in class not paying attention to lecture.  I'm gonna have to work on this.

The closer and closer graduation gets to me, the more I want to not walk.  I'm going to, of course, because my mom and TC would both have words for me if I didn't, but I'm, just typically lazy and don't want to.  I just want to go to Disney World, to be honest with you.

The weekend after we get back from Miami, I'm going wedding dress shopping for the first time.  I hate trying things on.  You know what would be perfect?  If I found the dress on my very first shopping trip.  Heck, the very first dress I put on.  That happens, right?

I happen to be feeling exceptionally lazy lately.

I hope you're the last words I ever utter.

I both love and loathe today.

Why do I love it?
Well, I booked my wedding today!  The date will be Saturday, February 8, 2014.  The ceremony and reception will both be held at the same place, a small plantation not far from TC's parents' house and where we went to high school.  It's going to be lovely.  I also love today because I got my fingernails and toenails all polished up real pretty for some friends' wedding this weekend.  I went with TC's best friend's fiancee.  We joke that those boys always have to do everything together, including, apparently, get married.  (Side:  As much as I love getting complimented on my ring, I suppose I'll forever have to answer the question, "Is that a YELLOW diamond?"  Oh well.  First world problems.)  Also, TC comes home tomorrow, and I get him for an extra couple of days this time around.

Who do I loathe it?
I need to clean the house, and I know I won't have time unless I practically kill myself tonight.  I still have to write my Louisiana history essay, our final exam in the class.  And I'm pretty sure I'll have a to read a lot before doing so.  I just cannot bring myself to do it.  I sat in traffic on Essen Lane today.  It made me want to take my car off-road and/or smash it into every other car on the road (oh, except you actually have to be GOING at some speed to do that).

(I feel super annoying when I blog nowadays.  Maybe once school is over I'll have more interesting things to talk about.)

Goin' to the chapel, and we're gonna get ma-a-a-ried!

I'm engaged, you guys!  I'm going to be Mrs. The Captain!

He did a phenomenal job on my ring.  The only tips I ever gave him were that I really love yellow diamonds and that pear shape is my favorite.

He had asked me a month or so ago about rings, but the way he asked made it seem like it was just a passing thought.  I thought maybe it could happen some time this year, but I've gotten into the habit of not getting my hopes up about anything, so he completely caught me off guard.

He was really sneaky about it.  I was out running errands on my lunch break yesterday, and he decided we should go get lunch and use one of our coupons that have been piling up.  So we went to Bay Leaf, one of our new favorite places.  After lunch, he told me I should follow him to his parents' house so that we could put his grandfather's old ironing board, which is to be ours now, into my car.  I suggested we just switch vehicles, but he insisted he needed to put some wood in the back of his truck so we both needed to go.  So off we went.  When we got there, he told me to go to the front door because that's the only door his key works on.  Once he met me up there, he got his keys out to unlock the door, and conveniently dropped them on the ground.  Just as I was turning to him to make a smarty pants comment about him being clumsy, he's kneeling there with a ring asking me to marry him.  I think I just stared at him confused for about 30 seconds.  That is truly a moment I will never forget for as long as I live.  The way his voice sounded, the nervous/excited look on his face, everything.  It wasn't anything elaborate, but it was just so perfect.

He tells me he was planning to wait until my graduation.  He had just picked up the ring yesterday morning, and obviously it was burning a hole in his pocket.

I'm just thrilled.  Also, I'm completely terrified and stressed out, and I feel so rushed.  Uuuuggggghhhhhh.

Worry, why should I care?

Methinks it's about to storm.  I'm really hoping it waits until about 3:05, at which time I will have made it to my car and headed home.  Because I totally forgot to bring an umbrella/rain jacket/rain boots today.  And I have a laptop and a cell phone that would probably prefer not to be soaking wet.

I'm so close to being done with this college foolishness, I can taste it.  I can also taste Disney World.  It tastes like turkey legs and sweet cream pretzel bites and Mickey Mouse ice cream bars.  And it's pretty much all already paid for.  And the whole month of May seems so surreal.

Yesterday The Captain and I did a whole lotta yard work.  We replaced yucky lava rock with nice, smooth river rock in the rock bed off of our back patio.  I'm happy it's done, but y'all, shoveling rocks is exhausting.  Especially when you pair it with also shoveling tons of garden soil and cutting the entire yard.  I was a bad girl, and I didn't wear sunscreen.  I'm paying for it today, believe you me.  (Why do people say that?  It's odd.)  Our shed expansion is coming along nicely, as well.  I MAY be able to do some demo when I get home from class today.

We're having my mom and her boyfriend over for dinner tonight.  Should be interesting.  He and TC are super similar in a lot of ways.  He talks a lot.  TC loves talking.  Seriously, the dude could stay up until sunrise just talking with his buddies outside on the swing.  He does on a regular basis.

OH!  This past weekend, we went to TC's cousin's fishing camp to make deer sausage.  I didn't think it would be so much fun to grind raw meat.  I had a blast!  There may be a meat grinder in my near future.  (Sorry, bank account.)  We also picked POUNDS of blackberries.  Beautiful, juicy blackberries.  Needless to say, I'll be making fruit cobbler for the first time tonight.  And probably again tomorrow.

WOW!  Teacher just came in and said we can go home!  Yes!

He's been gone for such a long time.

The Captain comes home in two days, and I can't even stand it.

I'm not even stressed out about it like I usually am when he comes home from the river.

He just forwarded me the dinner reservation he made for us for Friday night.  He's finally taking me to a place downtown that I've been wanting to try for a while now.  It's my reward for holding down the fort without him for three weeks.

Caught up in sorrow, lost in a song.

Emotional day today.  I miss TC a whole bunch.  I'm very fortunate to be able to talk to him virtually whenever I want (given he isn't napping), but I really needed to come home today and lay in silence with him until I fell asleep.  But that's just not possible today.

A good friend from high school (and beyond)'s little sister died yesterday.  I don't know exactly how, but I think it's getting to me more than I thought it would.

I've also had a lot to think about the past couple of days.  I guess I'm asking for prayer.  I need God's wisdom and guidance.  Badly.

Please come to Boston.

Today was the Boston Marathon.  It was bombed.  At the finish line.  How in the world could someone have a desire to say, I know!  These people just ran 26 miles, a feat not many even healthy people can accomplish, but it'd be a great idea to kill some of them and injure a lot of them.  I just don't get it.   Terrorism or not, why, why?!

The Captain and I were there last year.  We actually flew out of Boston the day of the marathon, a few hours after it was over.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be there as a out-of-towner just on a vacation when this happened.

As a result, I will not be on Facebook or Twitter this week.  In just a few short hours, the disturbing photos and insensitive conspiracy theories began making their way to my news feed.  I'm friends with a lot of stupid people on Facebook.  A lot of them.  I can't handle STUPID people taking really serious, tragic happenings and turning them into that.  It's like these folks will re-post ANYTHING they see.  Whatever happened to credibility?  Do people not realize how easy it is to just make something up that's completey ludicrous and put it on the internet?

In completely unrelated news, I have my last pre-finals test tomorrow.  And I'm so over it.  I haven't even studied until today, and I don't even want to study now.  But I have to.  It's an essay test.  And it's basically impossible to pay close attention in this class.  And the only way to study is just read the material.  No PowerPoint, no outline, nothing.  Lord, help my brain soak this stuff up.  

Take me far away from here.

Maggots.

If that word creeps you out, read no further.

We have two outside garbage cans at our lovely home. One of which has no lid. Now you'd THINK that one would not put garbage bags containing foodstuffs into said lidless can. Apparently this is not always the case. Because this fine, chilly morning, I go to place some scraps into the lidded can only to find a mountain of maggots inside the lidless can atop one scrawny bag.

I had a TERRIBLE day at work today, but I knew I had to do something about this situation when I got home. I got myself a bottle of bleach and poured a good amount into the can. Then I took the hosepipe and sprayed...and sprayed...and dumped...and sprayed...and dumped...and sprayed...for probably a half hour. I can basically guarantee that there were THOUSANDS of maggots in there. And now they're all in the grass. And I'm sure that's not the last of them I'll see.

I need some ice cream.

Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours.

The Captain (yes, Steph, he's okay with being Uncle Captain--someday) would have come home today had he not taken a week of overtime.  So that means one of three weeks without him is done.  And it's not as hard as I'd expected.  Perhaps it's the fact that I've been so busy with school work, or maybe it's because I've been mentally preparing for it for a couple of months now.  You'd be surprised how much I can put up with when I mentally prepare for it.  Plus, I haven't had time to clean the house, and I'd hate him to come home to be disappointed with its disarray.

From May 18th to June 18th, I'm going to three separate destinations.  Disney trip with the ladies has also become a jumping-off point to long weekend in Miami.  I'll let the girls take my car home that Friday, and I'll rent a car, drive to the airport in Ft. Lauderdale to meet up with TC, and then get picked up by his uncles to spend Memorial Day weekend at their condo in South Beach.  Then just a couple of short weeks later, I'll take a long weekend with my mom in NYC to see her beloved Tom Hanks in Lucky Guy (I think that's what it's called).  So I've got a pretty packed summer ALREADY.

In other news, my best friend from high school (who is still one of my best friends) is having a baby!  Like, today.  Like, RIGHT NOW.  I'm hoping to be able to meet him Saturday morning, providing Lauren is okay with a pit-stop in Mandeville on the way to New Orleans.  I can't wait!  As adorable as both she and her brother were as babies, I can only imagine how cute he'll be.  I'm just so sad I can't be there with her through the labor.

I will carry you there.

I got to go see The Captain yesterday (for less than a minute).  He came down with a cold on the boat and needed some meds (and an extra cookbook to read).  Driving to his fleet always gives me a panic attack.  All the loopy, narrow, high ramps I have to drive on is not nice to my nerves.  But it was worth the drive.  I got to give him a bag of stuff and one quick kiss.  Worth it.  Now for the next two weeks and two days... His buddy told him that the weekend after he comes home they could go fishing.  He seemed really into it.  He told me yesterday, though, that he told him he just wanted to stay home that weekend.  :))) Which is fine by me.  By that time we will have not had a weekend together in a couple of months.  I'm looking forward to it.  (Also, we'll see if THAT sticks.  Not many men turn down fishing trips.)

So my biggest assignment of the semester, my English research paper, is done.  I'm also almost done with my History translation project.  I still have an Excel project to do this week and another research paper due in a few weeks, along with reading and studying for tests.  But, funnily enough, I feel like I'm already done.  I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I have too many things to do on Saturday.  I wish that were not the case.  I'd really love to clean my house.

It's good.

I JUST FINISHED MY ENGLISH RESEARCH PAPER!!!

They're trying to wash us away.

I'm taking this impossibly boring Louisiana History class, right?  Well, one book we're reading is called The Accidental City, and it is actually NOT impossibly boring.  Last night during my reading, I found this quote about New Orleans and what made it go BOOM.

"During the city's lush decades, just about everything the Mississippi Valley sent to eastern markets had to pass through New Orleans, as did all the buttons and textiles, shoes and wine, that mid-America received in exchange.  It was as though the city were the drain plug in an immense bathtub."

I love this state, and I'm excited to learn more about it from this book.  I already have two people who want to borrow and read it when I'm done.

Who knew that love was so cruel?

Yeeeeeeeeeps.  Sorry for not blogging for almost a solid week.  I guess I didn't expect to soak up as much time with TC as I possibly could.  He left today for his three-week work venture.  Of course, it's just that he's working a week of overtime, so it's not really that big of a deal.  He hasn't done this since we first became official last year.  He was gone for Christmas AND New Years that time.  But, you see, now it's much harder.  Our lives are exponentially more intertwined these days.  And we are exponentially more blissfully in love.  And we never fight or argue or get annoyed with one another.  (Just kidding.)

The day before Easter the first of the baby boys that all my friends seemed to be pregnant with right now were born.  Sweet twins named Clint and Douglas born to one of my greatest friends.  I went to visit them at a hospital I've never been to on Easter Sunday before I went to my mom's house for lunch.  I held them both at one time, which is something I had never done before.  (I mean the holding two infants at once thing.)  Clint was not fond of having the light on and kept trying to tuck his little head into his swaddled blanket, whereas Douglas was just passed out regardless of light.  And they looked quite different, even for infants.  Douglas looked much more like his big sister.  I think I should try to visit them this weekend again.

That is, if my life isn't sucked into a black hole of assignments.  I have semester projects due in three of my classes next week.  Aaaaaaaand I have hardly begun any of them.  Aside from Buffy night Friday and babysitting Saturday evening, I will be a shut-in this weekend.  But if I can just get through this week, the rest of the semester should be relatively smooth sailing.  Right up until graduation.  And Disney World.  Ahhhhh, 43 days.

Yours is the first face that I saw.

Ugh, I just finished reading Matched by Ally Condie again.  I really do NOT care for this book.  But, once again, it made me want to read the two sequals.  Maybe I'll get to that this summer.  I know you're probably wondering, Ashleigh, why did you read it again if you didn't like it the first time?  That's an excellent question, class.  It was assigned for my English class.  Ashleigh, if you've read it already and you didn't feel like reading again, why did you?  Seems like you'd probably remember enough to get by in English class.  That's also an excellent point.  Unfortunately for me, tomorrow I have to lead the class in discussion of this book.  It's the one day that I'll have this assignment.  I did not choose to do it on this book.  And, having read it approximately two-plus years ago, I didn't feel like I remembered enough details to come up with several open-ended discussion questions about it.  Happily, this will be the first big class assignment to get the big-class-assignments-before-the-end-of-the-semester ball rolling.  Next up, I'll be writing a research paper about The Hunger Games.  Yippee!

When I graduate...

I got my graduation invitations in the mail today.  They're super confusing, though.  But it's becoming real life.  Now I gust have three papers, a project, and finals pretty much, and I'm good.

52 days.

Send your heartbeat; I'll go to that blue ocean floor.

Today I went to the gym AND bathed the dogs, so I pretty much have just a bunch of mush in my head and I'm tirrreeedzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................

She leads me through moonlight only to burn me with the sun.

Today it was all windy.  I could hear it coming from my fireplace.  "She's Like the Wind" got stuck in my head.  Then I was sad, because I miss Swayze.

Anywho, I've been thinking about New York so much lately.  It's been two Novembers since I've been, and I'm needing it pretty badly right about now.  I want to eat onion bagels for breakfast and pizza for dinner.  I want to go to Barney Greengrass, and I want to walk the streets by myself.  I want to see a Broadway show, then have breakfast for dinner at the Stardust.  I want to try a million different coffee shops.  I want to go to the Met for a few hours.  I want to go back to the wax museum.  I really want The Captain to come along so I can experience the city with him for the first time.  He went when he was a kid and didn't like it, but I think going as an adult can change his mind.  Especially going with me.  We could exercise in Central Park.  And then we could use all the calories we burned on the delicacies that only New York City has to offer.

I'm dying for you, New York.

So this is what you meant when you said that you were spent.

Arisa's blog post inspired me.  The part where she talks about the river with the big tires reminded me so much of that one time I went white water rafting in Lake Tahoe.  I realized that you folks back home may have never heard this story, so I'll regale you.  (No idea if I used the word "regale" correctly at all.)

Last September I went to Lake Tahoe with The Captain, his family, and his dad's family.  The purpose of the trip was to spread his grandmother's ashes in her favorite part of the lake, Emerald Bay, which we did (*cough*illegally*cough*).  Of course, we had a few other things on the list while we were there.  One of those things was white water rafting, which I had never done before.  TC and his family had.

We were with a large group, so the group was split into three rafts with three separate instructors.  In one boat was myself, TC, TC's cousin, TC's sister's friend, and our instructor.  In another raft was the rest of his family, and in the third raft was the rest of the group.  I'm not much for extreme sports, but I like to say that I'll try anything, so I was really scared but also very excited.  Truth be told, we had a lot of fun--most of the time.  Our leader was a really nice, young, hippie guy, but I'm not sure he was quite as experienced as the others.  This is where I could kick myself for being a part of the "young" group.

It's been a while, so I can't remember now if I went under twice or thrice.  I feel like there was one time where I fell in by myself, but I can't be sure.  The perhaps second time, it was TC and myself, as we were both on the same side of the raft.  This wasn't so bad.  The water was cold, but by that time we'd had a long ride in the sun, and it felt nice to be wet.  We did everything they told us to do if we fell in, and we were rescued almost immediately.  The perhaps third time was not so calm.  It was toward the end, and there were lots of rocks and rapids.  This time our entire raft flipped, and there was no hope for any of us.

[Side note:  I had splurged ($80) on a nice, new pair of sunglasses at the golf shop the day prior, something I just never do.  Spoiler alert:  They didn't make it.]

Let me just tell you, that was the scariest moment of my life.  Up to this point, I was sure that no matter where I fell into the water, I would survive.  But in this moment, I was sure that I was going to smash my head into a rock or get my foot stuck on something and drown.  It was close to impossible to put our feet in the air as we were instructed to do.  There was a moment when my body was just being dragged across rocks (smooth ones, thankfully).  When we were finally rescued by another raft, I was having a full-on panic attack.  Once I realized everyone was accounted for, I calmed down, and thankfully, the trip was almost over.  From that point forward, though, I was sure every rock I saw was going to plunge me into the river again.

All in all, I had fun.  I faced a fear, and I survived.  Would I do it again?  Absolutely.  But probably not any river with a higher difficulty than what we did that day.

Aren't you something to admire?

Okay, I've made the decision.  It's time to cut the junk out again.  I don't know why I keep letting myself slip into this place of comfort and calorie splurging, but I always do this.  And it's making me physically UNcomfortable.  I want to fit into my clothes and have to buy new clothes because the ones I have are too big.  I want to be strong and have energy again.  It is SO hard to be un-tired.  But I know what it feels like, and I miss it.  And I really need to learn that I can do it on my own (and maybe with a little help from my friends) and not have to spend a thousand dollars on a program to tell me what to do every step of the way.  I need to be able to do this and to make it my life.

Guys, I just need prayer and motivation and accountability.

I'm making myself a note for my mirror that says, "The decision is made.  You WILL do this."

You could be my strawberry bubblegum, and I could be your blueberry lollipop.

Whooooooooops.  Forgot to blog yesterday.

Wednesdays are the worst.  Either I have to work all day then go home to clean the house before The Captain comes home the next day or I have to work all day then be sad because TC is leaving the next day.  There's not really a win.

Thursdays are nice.  Either TC comes home, and I'm happy, or TC leaves after being here a whole week, and I can look forward to getting things done around here.  Of course, this time around I only got him for two days, if you can even call it that.  But I tell ya, it gets harder and harder to let him go.  The past couple of weeks with him home were super productive.  Maybe it's because Spring is in the air.  Maybe it's Maybelline.

I probably talk about him too much on here.  I promise he's not all I think about.  It's just nicer thinking about him than school....or work....or otherwise.

Goodness, May is going to be a good month.  So good, that I'm convinced it will never arrive.  Come ooooonnnnn, May!

Let me show you a few things.

Justin Timberlake's new album The 20/20 Experience was released today.  I've only gotten about half through it, but I really like it.  I look forward to listening to it another hundred thousand times.

I'm ashamed to say that I'm blogging from my Louisiana History class today.  I'm ashamed because it's unfortunate that I don't find it appealing at all to listen to the lecture.  I truly wish I'd been able to take this class from the good Louisiana History teacher, but that's not the case.  I actually only chose this course because was the only thing that I could schedule for this time slot that wasn't Philosophy in Film, the course I was originally scheduled for.  I was really excited about signing up for this class, but it's been quite the disappointment.  *Sigh* I'm graduating in 59 days.

The Captain is at home right now, and I'm stuck in this class.  *Grumble* Just another reason to be bitter about this boring lecture.

I make the most of all the stress.

I get to see The Captain tomorrow evening.  And the evening after that.  I'm really looking forward to these two evenings, as he's been working overtime since Friday.  When he gets off next week, he'll be off to a bachelor/fishing trip all weekend, so I'll only get him a few days that week, too.  Then when he goes back to work, he's working a full week of overtime, meaning he'll be gone for three solid weeks.  Can I just say that I am NOT looking forward to it?  Although it's probably the best thing for me, seeing as the semester will be coming to a close soon, and I have papers to write and finals to prepare for.  But still.  I just want to whine about it, okay?

Have I mentioned that I'm graduating in May?  No big deal, just finally earning a Bachelors degree after being in and out of college for a decade.  No big deal.

TC will be meeting Mom's "boyfriend" (he's really her actual boyfriend) tomorrow for the first time, and I'll be hanging out with him for only the second time.  I'm looking forward to it.  He's returning from Paris and bringing wine.  So we're practically best friends.

Life is sweet in the belly of the beast.

I just love weddings. Just everything about them. (Except having to wear ugly bridesmaid dresses.) Today I was privileged enough to assist in choosing a bridesmaid dress for a friend's wedding. While I won't be walking in the wedding myself, she asked me to come along to give an unbiased opinion. I actually felt pretty honored that she values my opinion that much. Anyhow, we successfully chose one, and she even tried on a few gowns herself. She hadn't done that yet, so it felt pretty special to be part of that moment, too. This girl is gorgeous. She could put on a trash bag and still be the best looking person in the room. Naturally, she looked stunning in each dress she put on. While the wedding is almost a year away, I'm already excited about it. HOPEFULLY I was fair to the bridesmaids.

Love is watching someone die.

I can't remember if I was supposed to start blogging yesterday or today. Oh we'll, today, it is. I'll still do 30 days (fingers crossed) either way.

Since my last post I've had the atypical mole removed from my shoulder. Still no word on whether or not the cells were cancerous, but they wanted to remove it since it was growing so rapidly. They called me a few days ago to ensure me that the margins were clear, meaning they got all of it either way. The most valuable lessons I've learned from this are (1) I will ALWAYS wear SPF 30+ in the sun and reapply often and (2) stitches are dumb.

Son, The Captain's grandfather stayed with us for a full week longer than the doctors foreshadowed, but he finally made his way home to be with his Lady two Thursdays ago. TC and I had a great visit with him a week before, and everyone is so at peace. There was a very small, very private service for him this past Thursday. The minister described Son and Lady's reunion as Jack and Rose's at the end of Titanic, which is the most fitting analogy I can think of. They loved to dance together, and we're all confident they'll be dancing for all eternity.

You have suffered enough.

Gosh, I just feel like these last few weeks have been just so odd.  Not ironic odd, just like nothing else I've ever experienced.  Maybe it's been the crazy weather so far this year or all the fantastical young adult books I've been having to read.  Things just seem strange.

The Captain's grandfather is dying.  He has been sick for quite some time, but up until less than a week ago, he was functioning normally.  I'll give some back story.  He was diagnosed several years ago with colon cancer.  He had surgery and treatment and came out of it fine.  Shortly after his bill of health was cleared, his wife was diagnosed with cancer, as well.  Her case was not so fortunate.  It progressed rapidly, and she passed only a couple of months later.  I believe that was the summer of 2009.  Last summer, his cancer returned.  He, once again, had surgery.  While recovering from this surgery, he complained of stomach pain.  It took some convincing on his family's part, but they did a scan on him and discovered a large tumor in his stomach.  He's been living in an assisted living community for a little over a year.  He misses his wife terribly.  He had decided at the finding of the mass that he would not have treatment, that he would let the cancer run its course.  Over these last few months, we've enjoyed spending time with him, visiting him at his "apartment", taking him to lunch, seeing all his artistic creations.  Last Wednesday he had a bad night.  And he hasn't quite come out of it.  Late Saturday night, he was moved to hospice and given a five-day window.  TC has been on the boat since Thursday.  I went to visit Son (what we call his grandfather) while TC's mom was staying with him yesterday.  I would say that it was even more of a 180 since I'd last seen him just a few weeks ago.  He was in and out of sleep and uncomfortable, but it was very hard to understand what he was saying when he did speak.  The moments I could understand him, he asked for a haircut.  He wants to look nice for his wife when he sees her soon.  It's easy for me to be torn up about this, but it takes me completely by surprise how calm TC's family is.  They are all so strong.  Perhaps they are more compassionate or less selfish than me.  They understand that it's his time.  They've all made their peace with it.  They love him SO much.  When TC comes home Thursday, he plans to go spend as much time as possible with Son.

Onto another weird topic, three weeks ago I had a growth cut off of my shoulder.  It popped up after I went to the tanning bed (like a moron) a few times before my friend's wedding in December.  This may sound gross, but it looked like a pimple.  I tried to pop it, but it was hard.  I waited far too long to have it checked out, but they lanced it immediately to have a biopsy.  I finally heard back about it today.  They say it's an abnormal mole and that the cells don't look regular.  They casually mentioned the "possibility" of skin cancer, but they want to cut it out either way.  So next Tuesday, I'll be having my shoulder cut into.  I'm super not excited about this.  But with my skin and my stubbornness, I suppose I always expected to have a skin cancer scare.  My mom and TC will both be with me.  I just would rather not have to go through all that.  But, given other recent events, I really can't complain.

Guys, there are also lots of good things happening.  I'm just feeling so odd today, I just had to get out why.

Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

Did you guys think you'd never hear from me again, or what?  I honestly didn't know if I'd find the time or inspiration to blog again, but alas, the Ides of March approaches, so I thought I needed at least one post before then to catch everyone up.

Ummmmm soooooo, what's been going on in my life?  Hmmmmm...

(I probably should have read my last post to see where I was at that point...)

I'm in my final semester of undergrad right now.  Like, literally.  Like, I'm sitting in class while writing this.  The class I'm in is English, adolescent literature, emphasis on fantasy.  Yes, Twilight and The Hunger Games trilogy are on the reading list.  This was the class I was most looking forward to taking. Here's the problem.  I'm a little bit older than your typical college student.  A lot of these books were written after I graduated high school (with the exception of a couple of them, like The Giver).  Said books were the kinds of books these kids read for fun in middle school.  Their perceptions of the themes and issues in these books are REALLY different than my own.  It sort of takes away from my excitement.  I wish I could tell you guys to read some of these books and discuss them with me.  (This one kid [who knows everything, obviously] just mentioned that he was 15 during Hurricane Gustav.  I was 15 during Hurricane Andrew.  [Okay, not really.])

SO.  Presuming I'll pass all my courses, after a decade of college on and off, I'll finally have a bachelors degree.  And I'll celebrate with a trip to my favorite place on Earth with some of my favorite people on Earth.  While I'm sad that my big brother and The Captain won't be joining, I'll be honest, it'll probably be more fun to just have a girls' trip.  Plus, since TC has never been there, it ensures that I'll have another trip that way hopefully in the next few years.

Family stuff has just become so strange.  Both my brothers live an hour away now.  I miss my big brother.  So much.  I haven't seen him since Christmas.  TC and I went into the city last weekend to celebrate Valentine's Day, and I wanted so badly to get together with him, but it just didn't work out.  Then he came into town the next day, and I was throwing a baby shower for my bestie, and it didn't work out again.  My parents each have their own separate things going, and it's just taking some getting used to.  I don't hate it at all.  It's just different.

Things with TC's family have been quite transitional, as well.  I don't feel comfortable elaborating much on those things, but I'm sure as things come up, I'll share more.

Welp, there's your update.  I hope I've covered the main topics.